on the nature of head-pixies and a hint of posts to come

Saevitia Snape: but yeah, I just noticed you read my lj post
Saevitia Snape: threes really not much wrong
Saevitia Snape: it boils down to me basically agonizing over whether the pixies in my head are blue or green (to use a metaphor)

ticouanmijar: Hmm. Teal.

Saevitia Snape: lol
Saevitia Snape: so, I’ve been saying that the pixies are blue, and trying to convince myself that they’re blue, even though deep down I’ve known they’re green
Saevitia Snape: But I had to make a whole big deal out of them being blue. so now that i’ve finally admitted to myself that the pixies are green, I am afraid to tell everyone else that they are green, because I am afraid that people will say that if I can’t make up my mind, I probably don’t have pixies at all

ticouanmijar: Do the pixies have to be one or the other?

Saevitia Snape: Yeah, pretty much. I lose points for saying they used to be blue, but now they’re green. and really, I don’t think they were ever really blue, they just looked blue from a distance
Saevitia Snape: I mean, maybe they’re a little bit blue, but they’re definitely basically green

ticouanmijar: Mmhm. Could it be that there are more than one type of pixie?

Saevitia Snape: No, you really only have one color pixie in your head.
Saevitia Snape: otherwise they get in fights

ticouanmijar: Okay. So what happens if they end up being, I dunno, orange? And you were wrong both times?

Saevitia Snape: then even I stop believeing that I have pixies, whether I really do or not. because if the pixies are there, then you know what color they are. its just obvious.
Saevitia Snape: at least, that’s what the people with the biggest pixies say

ticouanmijar: Could be a changing color. Could be special pixies.

Saevitia Snape: people who say they have special color changing pixies get told they are just making stuff up

ticouanmijar: By who? The Big Pixie Inc?

Saevitia Snape: And all the other people with monochrome pixies

ticouanmijar: Hmm. Sounds like a bunch of boring people if you ask me.

Saevitia Snape: the thing is, if I really believed my pixies were blue-green I’d say so. But I was just saying they were blue because I felt better about blue, because green pixies make me feel kinda icky. And now I’ve been taking a good hard look at my pixies and have to admit they’re green maybe with a tiny hint of blue.

ticouanmijar: So? Green-green-green-blue might be your special color. Not everyone can have green-green-green-blue pixies. I don’t.

Saevitia Snape: Yes, and that’s what I think. My problems now are a) dealing with the fact that my pixies are mostly green and b) how to tell people that my pixies really arent blue, even though I said they were

Saevitia Snape: I’m afraid the pixie people will lose respect for me, for lying about or changing my pixie color

Saevitia Snape: plus, I’m already at a disadvantage, because my pixies have antenna!
Saevitia Snape: everyone looks down on pixies with antennae, because they’re less believeable than other pixies

ticouanmijar: Well, hon, is it really that important what Big Pixie Inc. thinks? I mean, I
think that green-green-green-blue pixies with antennae are fine.

Saevitia Snape: That’s what I’m starting to realize. But no matter how I feel about it I still have to tell big pixie inc that my pixies are mostly green, just in order to prove to myself that I’ve finally come to terms with having green antenna pixies

ticouanmijar: Or you could pull an Elphie and tell Big Pixie Inc. to fuck themselves and fly off to total anarchy/starting your own pixie corporation.

Saevitia Snape: But then I’d miss arguing with the other pixie people.

ticouanmijar: Maybe there are other pixie people out there that are better friends and won’t judge you on your pixie’s colors, just the fact that you have them.

Saevitia Snape: I already have a couple of friends with antenna pixies and we have our Antenna Pixie Co-Op, but I still feel I have to tell people that my pixies aren’t blue, just to clear my conscience.

ticouanmijar: Just think. What if there are other pixie people like you that are too scared to speak up? What if other people’s pixies have antennas, or tails, or like to dress in drag on alternate Tuesdays? If you speak up, at least they’ll know that they aren’t alone up the creek without a paddle.

Saevitia Snape: I know. I’ve pretty much resolved to talk about my pixies issues. I just had to have time to agonize over it 😉

ticouanmijar: Well, go on, agonize then. See, that’s what happen when you try to join big corporations- they shoot your soul, then charge you for the bullet.

Saevitia Snape: lol

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