What, an update? No way!
I donno, I don’t post because I don’t know what to talk about any more.
What does someone see when they read my journal? The diary of a mad man, thats what. Even though I friendslocked everything before oh, sometime last year. Now my public journal pretty much consists of text manipulation, pictures and rants about my various philosphical opinions.
Does anyone want to hear it?
Do you want to know how my days are, instead?
My days are boring. I live in a death trap of mundanity and its killing me.
I get up, go to my internship, maybe I write a little, sew, read, go to bed. lather, rince, repeat.
I spend my nights agonizing over why I seem to have lost my ability to write- and whether I was even a decent writer anyway.
I spend my nights agaonizing over whether or not the things in my head are real, or just the hallucinations of an over-developed brain.
Is the flesh the end? Is there spirit? If there is spirit, does it have anything to do with what I believe, or am I just thinking wishfully.
I wish I knew.
Sometimes I think I know some of the truth, sometimes I actually even believe it. But then when I don’t- it just makes me feel like I’m crazy. i beat myself up over it.
This world can’t be all there is.
I don’t believe that it is.