Woke up in a hell of a mood today. I felt like I was going to rip someone’s throat out. It felt like beneath my skin was vibrating. Don’t worry, I’m better now. 😉 The weirdest thing was I was sharing the front with Bunny, who was so chipper it hurt, even though the body felt like shit. It musta been weird to anyone who spoke to us this morning.

Last night I felt filled with the thrill of power, of self-possession. Some of that’s still in me, in my finger tips, deep in the marrow of my bones. Sometimes I wonder what around me is real- what inside of me is real. The last week David and I, and most of the other Otakukin I know, have felt ‘it’ in the air, although who knows what ‘it’ is. The stuff of memory, perhaps. It feels like the moon is right. And while David wallows in the pain of his past, I know that the thrill I’m feeling is the thrill of my old power- my power as a magician, and the power of my mazoku spirit. And I know that if this was a different world it would be power I could *use* power that would sprout like black fire from my fingertips.

But as it is, the power’s more useless than it was when I was the Kaizer.

I am Trapped once again in a human body, in a world with so little magic as for it to be totally negligible.

And I am so hungry for chaos.


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