I have grown, and grown more (in)sane.
I’ve been having flashbacks.
I want this.
I hunger for my self with an appetite that can not be filled. Mental cannibalism. A special brand of narcissism, to take myself into myself, so no one can take it away.
I’m frustrated, angry, mad.
I hate this, I hate you.
I’ve always been someone’s broken little toy.
I am fed up with your demands on me. I could break you with three words.
I’ve done it before. I want to do it again.
I want to hold the lives of the insignificant in my palm and SQUEEZE.
From my castle in the sky I looked down and was well pleased.
Mine mine mine.
and then there was one.
And for a while I was brave enough to hate myself.
There is no one here I love enough to make me hate myself.
Well, no one here that would ask it.
You make me worse
and I glory in it.
King of everything I hate.
Don’t make me do this
Just leave me alone.
I have been beaten and whipped and laid so low that I can only proclaim myself god.
That is the heady salve that those mad dogs smell, that you can’t smell.
You’re too covered in it yourself.
Let me be. There is nothing left to say.
I am not your messiah.
I am the god of war. Mad tyrant who’s only enemy left is himself.
A battle to fight again and again in every level of hell I am cast into.
I *know* what I did to deserve it.
And still I wish him dead.
I’m the only one who matters