oaluz: long term effects of emotional abuse: a distrust in your perceptions  a tendency to be fearful or on guard self-consciousness or fear of how you are coming across an inability to be spontaneous a distrust of people and in future relationships anger that bursts out unexpectedly sensitivity to anyone trying to control you

I feel stupid for still liking/caring for my parents even though they treat me badly (they dont always treat me like shit, it took a long time to realize what was happening to me)

Please don’t feel bad for caring about your parents, anon. We are conditioned, by society, by our parents, and by our very biology as humans since we are small to love and depend on our parents. It takes a lot to break that conditioning, and sometimes its impossible, even in instances of heavy abuse. My parents were extremely abusive towards me, and it took me until I was in my 20s to even realize that…

How do you know if you’re being emotional abused by your parents?

Here are some specific ways from my experience: Parents constantly call you names, or belittle you. (calling you fat, ugly, stupid, etc) Parents blame you for things that are not your fault (blame you for siblings actions, or random events like the store being closed, or their friends not coming over) Parents claim you ‘ruined their life’, or that you owe them for parenting you. Scream at you for a long time for minor offenses Your…

So my parents keep threatening to punch me and throw my phone out. What should i do? (Note: i am only 12)

Hi there, Gabby. 🙂 Do you have a friend at school whose parents you trust? If so, I want you to next time you see them, ask to talk to them alone and tell them it is serious. Tell them the things your parents are threatening you with and tell them that you’re scared.  If you don’t have a friend whose parents you trust, pick a teacher who is nice to you, and tell them…

I’m an adult daughter of a borderline and narcissistic mother. I’m in the process of going no contact. Any advice for coping? -an asker who wanted to remain anonymous Its gonna be hard. I’ve been there, personally. There’s very little emotionally more difficult than cutting off ties with a parent, even one that you know is toxic and only a harmful influence on you. Remember that its okay for it to be hard. You’re not…

I’m 19 and my parents make me text them when I leave somewhere or arrive somewhere and if I don’t I’m grounded from my cell phone (which I bought and they only pay for the line) and car (which I need to get to work and school everyday). Also my mom always barges into my room and I asked her if she can knock so I can have some privacy, she told me that I don’t have any privacy as long as she pays for the house. I just don’t know what to do. I have started cutting my self because of her!

That’s hard, anon. Do you have a job? It sounds like you should be looking to leave the house however you can at this point. Focus your effort on moving out and getting out from under your parents thumb. If you have a friend who would let you stay with them for a few weeks or months, that would be an ideal jumping off point.

My mom attempted to take my phone and I freaked out because in the past this has always been a sign she will hit me and I’ll have no way to call for help. I told her I wouldn’t and then she told me I had no choice and she held me down and called my dad telling him to beat me if he had to. I ran outside and called a friend who called the police but they did nothing when they finally came 3 hours later. She took my phone that night and trashed it. It had all my evidence of her abuse. Idk what 2 do

Do you have a sympathetic friend that you could stay with for a little while? If you do, you should try that. Another thing you can do is if you have about $20, go to Walmart and buy a ‘burner’ phone- a little cellphone (not a smart phone) that lets you buy minutes for it. Keep the phone and the minutes hidden from your parents. Tat way if they take away your real phone you’ll always…

(1/2) I grew up in my mother’s emotionally abusive home but now that I am older I have opted to live with my dad. I don’t know if it’s just me being anxious but… he says he knew about the abuse and was “helpless” to stop it.

(2/2) Could this be true? You’d think if you really loved your child then you would find any way you could to remove them from a harmful situation. Is this just my trust issues or??? It feels like he’s making excuses for his inaction. I am sure that your father feels that he loves you and feels like he did all that he could; however, that doesn’t make his excuses any more than excuses. Unless…

I would like to reach to a therapist however I am underage, so in order for me to do so I need a parent consent. Though, I am pretty sure they will say I am exaggerated and get over it. I’ve recently realized that they have been gas lighting me and I’m sick of it. I want help but I’m scared to do it because of them.

Are you in the United States? I would try talking to your school guidance counselor about this. They may know of services that can help you.  Just so you know, guidance counselors are mandatory reporters in the US, so if you discuss parental abuse with them, they are obligated to call CPS. (which is a good thing, not a bad thing)

My I don’t like to do anything anymore because anytime I go to a friends house or anything of the sort my dad uses it against me for several months like if he wants me to go to Walmart with him and I don’t want to go he says I’m ungrateful because he let me go skating last month like seriously he didn’t even pay for me to skate I used babysitting money. What should I do I can’t exactly move out.

Firstly, make sure there’s really no way you can move out. Is there a sympathetic relative who would take you in, or a friend whose parents would let you live with them for a while? You CAN get emancipated (in the US) if you really try, and it sounds like you’re in a bad spot. If you really can’t move out, then there are a few things that you can do to mitigate what you’re…

“Now you’re grounded” because I sighed… I swear to god I feel safer around my bitchy friends than my parents. I’m trying so hard and nothing is ever enough. I got top of my class and I do everything in the damn house. But if I want a afternoon with my friends I’m self centered.

I can tell you from experience that self-centered parents are very prone to projecting their own selfishness on their children. These toxic parents expect their children to essentially be dolls for them with no independent wants or needs, other than what they feel like you should have (also known as THEIR wants and needs).  Try NOT to fall into the trap of feeling like having your own needs makes you self-centered, anon. I did, and…

Won’t get into why I got mildly upset, tried to go inside, my father grabbed me by the arm. I told him to let go/tried to pry off his hand. When he finally let go he shoved me back bodily when I tried to go inside again. I waited until he’d stormed into the house to escape to my room where I had a horrible panic attack. Mother made me apologize to him having witnessed the whole thing. He didn’t say sorry for grabbing. Still scarred today from his or my nails. I’m 21, I’m moving out. Fuck this.

Please do move out, anon, I know it will be hard, but it will also be so, so worth it! I know you can find some place to live, whether it is with friends, or in affordable housing within your area. (Don’t forget to look into people renting single rooms in houses. This is a totally okay way to start out living on your own, and I have personally done so!) Some things to remember…

i recently told my parents i want nothing to do with them via letter and told them how my mom had molested me and done other various toxic things to me, and while i know i shouldn’t go to them for validation i’m really pissed off the only thing my dad had to say was he didn’t believe any of it and that i had offended him, even though none of the letter was about him. he even invalidated stuff he had validated as true before. i’m glad to be rid of them but i cant help but be angry because of this

You are absolutely justified in feeling hurt, angry and offended by this reaction, anon. Your father, a person who is supposed to care about you, and do anything they can for you, has completely dismissed your pain and suffering, called you a liar, and proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he doesn’t care about you. I am so sorry that you had to go through this, and all the other things that your…