Won’t get into why I got mildly upset, tried to go inside, my father grabbed me by the arm. I told him to let go/tried to pry off his hand. When he finally let go he shoved me back bodily when I tried to go inside again. I waited until he’d stormed into the house to escape to my room where I had a horrible panic attack. Mother made me apologize to him having witnessed the whole thing. He didn’t say sorry for grabbing. Still scarred today from his or my nails. I’m 21, I’m moving out. Fuck this.

Please do move out, anon, I know it will be hard, but it will also be so, so worth it! I know you can find some place to live, whether it is with friends, or in affordable housing within your area. (Don’t forget to look into people renting single rooms in houses. This is a totally okay way to start out living on your own, and I have personally done so!)

Some things to remember before you move out:

Try to get any personal documents that you can- birth certificate is the most important, as it is hardest to get a new copy of. Social Security Card is also important but easier to get a new copy of especially if you have your birth certificate.

If you are afraid of your parents finding out you are moving and taking or destroying your things, have friends or coworkers hold on to important items for you in the weeks before you move. Start moving things out as soon as possible in small amounts and have them look after them for you until you can take them.

Lastly, remember that once you move it is okay not to tell your parents your new address. Do whatever you have to to keep yourself safe. You are not a bad person for not wanting your parents to come to your doorstep and cause a scene, or hurt you.

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