Please don’t feel bad for caring about your parents, anon. We are conditioned, by society, by our parents, and by our very biology as humans since we are small to love and depend on our parents. It takes a lot to break that conditioning, and sometimes its impossible, even in instances of heavy abuse.
My parents were extremely abusive towards me, and it took me until I was in my 20s to even realize that not all families were like that, and that the abuse I received wasn’t just the ‘tough love’ and ‘for my own good’ that my parents claimed it was. Part of maintaining this blog for me is to help me remember and recognize the abuse that I suffered, and not go back to trying to interact with my parents.
Even in situations of heavy abuse, not every memory you have of your parents will be a bad one. There are always good days, and those are the memories that we hang on to. The warped idea that if we were just GOOD enough, if we just managed to be WORTHY every day with our parents would be like those good days.
Sadly, anon, that’s just not true. And those few good days and good memories are not worth suffering constant and undeserved abuse from anyone, especially not our parents. But acknowledging abuse doesn’t necessarily mean you have to hate your parents. Its OKAY to hate your parents, and it can be a very natural reaction. But It can also be very natural to still care about them. Because even if they’re abusive parents, they’re still you’re parents.