I have a friend (19yearsold) and he is in a horrible situation. His mom is very manipulative and even abusive to some extend. He can’t afford therapy and his mom won’t let him go anyway. How can I support him without making it worse?

Help him get a prepaid cell phone Give him a place to stay as often as you can. Just being away from abuse for a few hours can be a big relief. Remind him that he is being abused. It can be very hard for survivors to recognize their own abuse and prioritize their own safety. Reassure him that his safety and well-being is important and that you care about him. Encourage him to do…

Are there any blogs like this but for victims of rape and csa? Your blog helps me parse my feelings in a safe space but every blog I find about CSA just spews the normal “pedos should die” and that doesn’t help me parse my abuse you know?

Hi anon. I’m glad my blog can help you. Sadly, I am not familiar with any blogs like mine that focus on CSA specifically. My advice would be to look outside tumblr for blogs like this, as tumblr as a community has a lot of ‘drama’ relating to CSA that can be very unhelpful to actual survivors.

i think i might have emotionally abusive parents [i really hope not] but i do exhibit [emotionally] abusive behavior towards my younger sister imo. i don’t want to shut her down or belittle her ;; any advice??

Hi anon. My best advice to you is 1. Watch yourself for abusive behavior, and try to avoid it. If you see yourself becoming abusive, remove yourself from the situation until your mood has changed. 2. When you believe you have been abusive, apologize quickly and sincerely. 3. Ask your sister if she can try to point out abusive behavior in you when she sees it, so you can remove yourself from the situation.

Since I’ve had depression my mom has been very abusive. But when I confront her she threatens me by saying “well you can move out” but I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t wanna live together with others.. Is this common? It makes me very sick.

I am so sorry to hear you’re in this situation, anon. I think in your case the first thing you need to do is to tackle your depression, so you CAN move out and get away from your abuser.  Find out if you have health care that covers therapy and psychiatric care. If it doesn’t, please research free or reduced fee therapy and psychiatric care in your area. Key words to look for are “sliding fee”…

I’m 21 but my family is still abusing me. I don’t have a car and my family refuses to teach me how to drive and witholds money and buys themselves things but when I ask for things I get laughed at and told to “get over it” because sometimes in life you can’t buy yourself things. I get that but it’s been literal months since I’ve been able to buy myself anything fun or nice. I’m financially dependent on my boyfriend. On top of that my family yells at me constantly and (pt1)

hey noticed I’ve been distant lately because I realized that I’ve been abused my entire life. They keep pushing family time even harder and one time accused my boyfriend of being abusive because they thought they heard him smack me and heard me say ow but he’s never hurt me in my life. They’re always making fun of my friends and when I try to talk about things and whenever I talk I get pushed…

Is it normal as an ACoN to constantly ask myself if maybe I have NPD? People are telling me how great person I am, and while I never conned or abused anyone in my life, I still feel like I am just cheating everyone by being nice to them.

Anyone who has been abused, or around abusive, toxic behavior will find themselves second guessing themselves and their own behavior. I know that I have to constantly ask myself if I am being too harsh, and to evaluate my motives for being around people and being nice to people, just because of the way my parents acted. I think that this kind of reaction is completely normal to your situation.

My mom will hit me but when I’m having an anxiety attack she sits with me and gets angry when I don’t want her there, I know she cares about me but I know what she’s doing isn’t normal and I get conflicted because I know if I say anything about it she’ll get upset I’m at a complete loss at what to do anymore and I can’t move out but I know what she’s doing is bad but is it still abuse if they care about you ?

Even if someone cares about you they can still be abusive, anon. Hitting someone is never okay, and hitting you is just about the exact OPPOSITE of what anyone should do while you’re having an anxiety attack!