Tag list

In order to make posts easier to find, and the blog more accessible for finding information, I’ve gone back and retagged old posts, and made a tag list. You can see the tag list here. I have including tags for things like recovery, escaping abuse, recognizing abuse, etc! I hope this helps 🙂

When my parents get upset with me, they scream and yell and they say some reallly,,, really bad things (like that ill have to sell myself on the street if i dont wanna be dependant on them, that they always wish i was “normal”, like they were going to kick me out, etc) but like … when we arent fighting we look like a completely 100% normal home. They never mention the fights to apologize or make me apologize, they never bring up the subject later (part 1) -cs

its almost like when we arent actually fighting, the fights never happened in the first place. If i get upset or mad later about something they said, they deny saying it and say im exagerating or over reacting. Ive started writing down what they say right after the fight so that i know im not making it up because i feel ! like im going crazy !!! everyone who knows them thinks theyre the nicest…

i have cptsd, diagnosed by multiple professionals, and i have flashbacks to the way my mother treated me. my parents insist that i interpreted normal parental anger as abusive. here are some of the worst things i flash back to: my mother calling me a “dark, brooding ps*cho” for trying to tell her i had depression, sitting on me and calling me an “odd animal” for acting autistic, and telling me it was too hard to be my mother and she “washed her hands of me”. was it abuse?

Abusers, especially abusive parents, don’t want to believe they are/were abusive. The especially do not not want *you* to believe that they were abusive. Abusers always will go out of their way to minimize the harm they have done, and blame lasting damage on the person they abused, saying that you deserved it, or it wasn’t that big a deal, etc. This is gaslighting, and its more abuse. Your mother insulting you when you opened…

I have trouble knowing if my parents are abusive. My friends say from my descriptions they are but idk. When they’re mad, my dad yells for hours and insults us and has threatened to throw us out twice (I’m a legal adult but dependent on them; my brother is a teen), and my mom mocks and insults me, and occasionally throws things. But that’s not all the time; usually they’re just kind of controlling and want us to do what they think we should (getting mad if we disagree). (1/?) ☂️

I barely remember any of my childhood so I can’t say if anything worse did or didn’t happen. I’ve been told things my brother and I do, like communicating their mood and acting too happy or like a mediator to avoid anger/punishment and looking forward to my dad’s work trips, point to being abused too. But it feels like they’re pretty kind/rational about half the time, so I’m not sure if it counts. (2/3) ☂️…

How do I know I’m being abused? My friends often say my parents abusive and manipulate me. They insult me, punish me unfairly, threaten me with beatings and often tell me Im useless. They take my stuff for no reason and go through my texts and phone. They pick at my weight and my intelligence and swear at me. But they’re also kind to me sometimes? They buy me things and haven’t beaten me? I just don’t know

Yes, you are being abused. I am sorry that is the case. Insulting you, punishing you for no reason, threatening violence, and making you feel worthless and useless are all methods of abuse. So is invading your privacy. Those are abusive behaviors. You are the victim of what sounds like serious emotional abuse. Abusers can be kind sometimes. Just because someone isn’t actively abusing you every second of the day does not negate the abuse…

You Are Allowed To Say ‘NO’. You are not selfish for saying no. You are not a bad person for wanting your own time, money, belongings, personal space and boundaries.

OH that explains why i always feel terrible and like a Shitty Person Who Is Far Too Selfish when i cant give money,, even though im literally in debt to my mother for food i ate without permission and have no income ;-;

Yes, unfortunately anon, that’s probably the case, and I’m so sorry that it happens to you.  Victims of abuse are often trained by their abusers to give everything of themselves. They are told they are being selfish for withholding anything for themselves, even basic self care or simple needs. Abusers make it impossible for us to say no to anything. You are not a shitty person for saying ‘no’. You are not a bad person for…

Do you report any asks you get? Like if someone is being abused do you flag them?

The only thing I do with asks is answer them. I hope that anyone can feel comfortable and safe sending me a message.  I do ask that people please don’t send me messages about active suicide or self harm attempts, their own or someone else’s.  I am unfortunately not equipped to handle people in that kind of distress, and there are blogs and resources that are. (One of my parents repeatedly threatened suicide throughout my…

Hey, my friend and I started a fundraiser to help get them out of their abusive household, would you mind reblogging it?

Hi there! 🙂 I wish your friend the best, and please direct them to this blog for any tips or encouragement on getting out of their situation. I don’t promote or reblog any fundraisers on this blog for two reasons: 1. I can’t promote one person’s fundraiser and then turn down another, so the blog would become nothing but fundraiser posts. 2.  Many abuse victims are in the same kind of bad financial situation as…

I just wanna say thanks for this blog, I never really thought my parents were abusive, bc I was used to it, but this blog, along with a few others has helped me realize that maybe what I grew up with wasn’t right. and while it hasn’t been easy to deal with (okay, it’s been a bit of a total mindset shift), I really appreciate your resources and your posts. It’s not the easiest subject to talk about, but thank you for pointing me to resources that have helped. I really appreciate you & your blog.

Thank you for your kind words, anon. Realizing that what you went through is abuse can be very hard, whether that was child abuse, spousal abuse, physical, emotional, or any other kind. Abusers of all kinds set their abuse up to become normal and its hard to see outside of that framework when you’ve been caught up in it. It took me many years to accept that I had been abused, and the gravity and…

I dont know if it’s okay to send this,and i apologize if it’s not,i just. Im a 19 y/o who has been forced to be their own mom’s mom. Besides being horribly emotionally abused and gaslighted daily I endure constant misendering,isolation and guilt and im so so,so tired. I feel so bad and I’m so lonely in this. Im a single child,too. I just wanna leave. I cant do anything anymore,and im so tired of existing. Im sorry for sending this

Please don’t be sorry to have sent this, anon. You are a victim of abuse, and that’s terrible. I know it feels like it, but you are not responsible for your mom, no matter she or what others say. I hope that you can escape soon. If you need any help for ideas on how to get away, please let me know.