OH that explains why i always feel terrible and like a Shitty Person Who Is Far Too Selfish when i cant give money,, even though im literally in debt to my mother for food i ate without permission and have no income ;-;

Yes, unfortunately anon, that’s probably the case, and I’m so sorry that it happens to you. 

Victims of abuse are often trained by their abusers to give everything of themselves. They are told they are being selfish for withholding anything for themselves, even basic self care or simple needs. Abusers make it impossible for us to say no to anything.

You are not a shitty person for saying ‘no’. You are not a bad person for wanting to do things for yourself, or have money for yourself. Your needs are important. Your health is important. Having your own money is important. You are important.

I know it is hard to swallow. I have a hard time saying no to anyone still (part of the reason the ask box was closed for a while). But with practice, we can get better at saying no, and keeping things for ourselves. Because we deserve it.

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