(1/?) My mother has sorta mellowed out in the past few months, but when I was younger, she acted pretty crazy. Whenever I made a little mistake (like spilling a glass of water for example) she would beat me with belts and stuff, and on occasion has left some black and blue bruises on my siblings. She would also scream a lot of nasty insults at us (such as “I hate you” or using offensive names like bitch and faggot) Sometimes she apologizes, but its really passive aggressive, like she’ll say

(2/?) “I’m sorry for making you upset, but I will not apologize for punishing you” I’m not entirely sure if all this is considered abuse though, since she’s not always like this. She can be super duper nice too, and give me lots of compliments, but then the next minute, she’ll go back to her old ways. It’s pretty scary to be honest. But I don’t really blame her for all the bad things she does. She had a really messed up childhood, and my father used to beat her in front of me and my siblings

(3/3) She also had to raise me and my family in severe poverty, so that must’ve put a lot of stress on her. My point is, she’s been through a lot, so I feel bad for blaming all her actions on her. I love my mama so very much, and she’s the reason I’m still alive. I still wanna move out asap though, but I’m only 15 years old. So anyways, my question is: Is my mama considered abusive, or am I over reacting? Sorry for ranting, btw. I have no one else to talk to.

Anon, I am so sorry that you have gone through and are going through severe physical and emotional abuse. Your mother beating you is severe physical abuse and is inexcusable no matter what the reason, as is her calling you names and psychologically abusing you.

Unfortunately, some people like your mother, who were physically and emotionally abused never recover from it, and internalize the same behaviors as their abusers, turning around and abusing others. Its very sad, but it does not excuse your mother from the fact that she is abusing her children now.

I hope that you will soon be able to get away from your abusive mother and into a situation where you can recover from the abuse that you are experiencing. Maybe when you recover you can help your mother start to recover too, but you come first,.

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