Sometimes I dont really know if I’m a victim of abuse. I’m really just scared I’m being overdramatic. But this seems like a place where I could try and recount all of what happened, just to see. My dad is a special guy. He expects me to be perfect, do sports, be perfectly thin and fit, have all A’s (even though my high school is literally designed to CHALLENGE me) and be very obedient. When he sees that I have a B or C in a class, I get yelled at, called a failure or a disappointment. (Part 1)

(Part 2) He never hits me, but when I cry because his insults hurt my feelings, I’m called a crybaby, manipulative, or even histrionic (I do NOT have HPD). He claims that I try to manipulate him by crying, and that he “wont fall for that bullshit”. He treats my art (which I’m very attached to) like it’s garbage. I can show him my finest painting and he’ll be like “dont waste your time on this. Go do something of value”. He also likes to “tease” me about my weight.

(Part 3, last part) He “teases” me by saying I’m fat, that I need to exercise more, or that I need to stop eating so much. He claims its to help me but considering I’m nowhere near an unhealthy weight, it hurts. He always has these periods where he is super mean, and then after he tries to win you back over. I dunno, this really could me just overdramatizing like he said. Not that I havent accurately recounted what Ive expirienced, simply that I might think this is bad when its actually normal.

Anon, please believe me when I say this. You are the victim of severe emotional and psychological abuse, and your dad is a grade A gaslighter, making it hard for you to see the abuse that you are experiencing.

Your father is treating you like a piece of his property or an extension of himself which is completely unacceptable and abusive. 

Expecting perfection from you is abusive. Screaming at you and insulting you when you fail to live up to his bullshit unreasonable standards is abusive.

Making you cry, making you feel worthless is abuse. Not respecting your interests and making you feel bad for them is abuse.

Calling you manipulative is gaslighting. He is literally projecting his own abusive behavior on to you and trying to make you think that you are the abuser.

“teasing” (read insulting and humiliating you) for your weight is abuse, whether or not you are of a healthy weight.

Anon, you are being seriously abused  in ways that honestly remind me a lot of the abuse that I experienced myself.

Please, plesae don’t doubt that you are a victim, and don’t buy into your father’s gaslighting. Imagine if any other person were doing or saying these things to you. Would that be acceptable? Imagine if it was happening to a friend of yours. 

What you are experiencing is absolutely serious abuse, and I hope that you can get away from it and start to recover as soon as possible.

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