Did anyone else’s​ parents make excuses seem like an inherently bad thing? Any attempt to defend myself was met with “I don’t want any excuses”, which looking back just meant “you are not allowed to defend yourself”. An excuse is just a reason you couldn’t do something​, but I was made to feel bad by virtue of making one. There is nothing wrong or shameful about an excuse.

This is a very common abuse tactic, and a large reason why many people with a history of abuse have a hard time saying no, and low self-esteem.

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