Family

My family has apparently decided that its appropriate to call me up and involve me when they are having their fights now. My dad decided the other night to call me up, ask if he could come over, in the most clipped tone ever, and then just hang up when I asked him what was going on. THIS is what I MOVED OUT to AVOID. Argh.

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This’ll piss off about half my friends list

But I don’t really mind, because this is something I care deeply about. http://www.newsweek.com/2010/01/28/the-depressing-news-about-antidepressants.html# Excerpts from a January NEWSWEEK article, linked above. Emphasis mine. The Depressing News About AntidepressantsStudies suggest that the popular drugs are no more effective than a placebo. In fact, they may be worse. …Yes, the drugs are effective, in that they lift depression in most patients. But that benefit is hardly more than what patients get when they, unknowingly and as…

Wow, there is a surprising lack of decent iconnage in this journal. Hi, I’m Vincent (NOT that Vincent- whichever one you’re thinking of) and I and a few others will probably be making use of this space in the days to come. I hope we can get along, be friends, etc. If you’re looking for Mordax I’m going to say that she’s…. …not up to fronting right now, and hope that you all get that…

Complex Inferiority

Lately I’ve been feeling very ‘un’. Unnoticed, unwanted, unappreciated, unimportant, unreal. It’s been going on for a while, but Christmas really brought it home. I made a point of not letting Mordax make the list by herself. We split it fifty-fifty. Mordax got a ton of things she was wanting, but me, not so much. I was had especially impressed upon mom how much I wanted KOTOR, at least I thought I had. Now I…

GODDAMNIT TREVOR!!!!!!!

You ruined my last D&D group, I will not have you ruin this one too! Guys, what do I do about this? For those of you who don’t know, my brother is a raving unstoppable beast with the mentality of a five year old. He’s going to go fucking HULK when I show him this. What can I do? This is the email I just got from my DM. Hi Greer, XP rewards are small…

If It Kills Me….

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=9ZMGKD79 …i am going to make it through this year if it kills me i am going to make it though this year if it kills me i drove home in the califonia dusk i could feel the alcahol inside of me hum pictured the look on my stepfather’s face ready for the bad things to come i down shifted as i pulled into the driveway the motor screeming out stuck in second gear the…

Women and Men! *wh-ch!* (David’s Breast Grudgematch)

So I was shopping for a winter coat online last night, and I remembered something; it really sucks to try to find a nice coat that will fit the giant watermelons fate has strapped to your chest. Now, I know gender issues aren’t something that has gotten talked about a lot on this journal. Mordax claims she doesn’t *have* a gender and is usually busy complaining about something even more controversial anyway; whereas I, well,…

The Internet Marches On

So, maybe I’m a little late on the bandwagon, but I just heard that Geocities was closing. I find this immensely sad. I have a few Geocities pages sitting out there, unloved and unremembered. But oh how I loved them when they were new. Yahoo *says* they’re going to keep service for extant pages, but who knows when that might be changed? And then all those sites, their passwords forgotten, with their blinking banners, and…

Sixteen years and still a coward. I had a dream last night. It reminded me of a dream I had when I was eight. In that dream, I became a member of the Power Rangers, but I sold them out to the bad guys, because I didn’t want to be hurt. Last night, I dreamed I was a member of this military assassin squad (that started out as a reality TV show for some reason)…

Why can’t I just be okay? There’s nothing wrong, but I just feel… bad. Like my whole life is such a fucking waste. What am I doing? Why do I hurt so bad? Why do I have to be so afraid? Christmas is coming. I love Christmas, but my family always manages to mess it up. They mess everything up. I just want to be alone. Mordax is fine. I wish I could just not…

As many of you can probably tell, for the last several weeks we have had very, very limited internet access. This is likely to continue for some time. I’d really rather not discuss why this is so. So, unfortunately, this is a notice of hiatus for our live journal. Anyone who wants a longer explanation, or just to chat is welcome to email us (but don’t expect a prompt reply) and those of you who…

Send in the clowns

So, in the past month or so I have been getting a flood of trolling, and not very nice posts over at my deviantart account due to the so-called “Sarah Saga” posts that have been making their rounds of the internet- I’ll address that properly in my next post. Anyway, my deviantart and a long, old rant is one of the first results on google for otakukin. So, every time a load of schmucks get…

Arrrgh. I’m getting so damned frustrated. My sixth magazine rejection on my short story. I just don’t understand. well, hell, I’ve heard of some really famous authors being rejected again and again before they finally got published. The only solution is to keep trying. Crossed 60k on my novel. Pretty soon I’ll have to start looking for an agent for that. Not sure I’ll be able to bare it if that work ge3ts rejected. Comments…

Corpus Mordaxi

I’ve been having a lot of issues lately. One of them is a total, crushing contempt for my own corporeality. Not just the way I look, but the fact that i have a body. The fact that chemicals and hormones in my body change the way that I think and feel. The possession of a libido is highest on my list of grievances. If my body didn’t turn my desires into sexual desires, then I…