◆ It’s a fantasy, not a reality.

When people– and especially young women– are attracted to “abusive” and “controlling” and “violent” male characters in fiction–

The fantasy is not about being abused, or controlled.

The fantasy is about a partner who is devoted to you, who takes care of you, who will defend you, to a larger than life degree.

And because it’s fantasy, the person doing the fantasizing is in control.

The person having the fantasy knows for sure that when her fictional man says “I’m doing this because I love you” it’s true, and not an excuse for abuse.

Because it’s a fantasy. It’s a story.

“Abusive” romantic leads in stories don’t lead to women dating abusers any more than stories about unicorns lead to people buying horses.

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