The bus pulled away behind Ami as she stepped out onto the cracked sidewalk outside the Hikawa Shrine. Her glasses caught the light, obscuring her vision for a moment until she shaded them with her hand and peered up at the lovely shrine among the swaying branches of the trees.

It was long enough after the school bell rang, so she was certain that she’d find Rei here in her shrine maiden’s dress—without a doubt still deep in her own head. Ami had been getting worried about her since their last meeting of the three sailor guardians in the hideout under Game Center Crown. She’d been brooding, more so than Ami had seen her before, lost in her own head and pretending every time the subject was skirted that she was fine.

But Ami was observant—and she knew Rei needed someone, no matter what it was that was really on her mind.

As if to prove her intuition she saw Rei’s figure just as she’d predicted, sitting with her back to Ami, kneeling on the flagstones in her shrine maiden attire. The two crows that always seemed to be near here were there, and as silent as she was herself.

One of the crows brushed its head against her hand without a sound save for the soft rustle of its feathers as its wings subtly fluttered. Ami bit her lip, her steps carrying her closer before she finally spoke up. “…h-hello Rei.”

Ami watched Rei’s shoulders move as if she had let go of a held breath. She stroked her fingers over the crow’s head, and didn’t yet look back at her.

“Hello, Ami.”

“I’m sorry to intrude while you’re working,” Ami tucked her hair over her ear before walking over to kneel beside her and leaned forward to try to catch her eyes. “but I was worried about you.”

Rei laughed softly, but Ami could hear that it was forced.

“Worrying about me? Don’t be silly. I’m just fine. Though I appreciate the concern.” She stood smoothly, tossing her long, dark hair and fixing the hems of her garments.

Ami watched as the crows took off to flutter into the air—one landing on Rei, but the other rather surprisingly landing on her own shoulder with a trill that Ami couldn’t help but feel was incredibly sad.

She stood slowly with a tired smile. “You’re welcome. But Rei, I don’t want to intrude too much in saying this and I don’t think Usagi noticed—but it’s pretty clear something’s on your mind.”

Another little laugh and a toss of her hair. “Usagi wouldn’t notice if someone dropped a piano on her head. Well, you came all this way, the least I can do is get you something to drink, right?”

She stroked the crow on her shoulder briefly before starting toward the house and beckoning for Ami to follow.

The crow’s companion on Ami’s shoulder made a squawking sound to urge her along, and Ami hurried to follow with a nod of her head. “Thank you! I’m afraid I haven’t had much to drink today…

She’d been too busy worrying. The oppressive weight in the room, stemming from Rei’s silence and the chaos of the last few days was palpable. Ami couldn’t blame her, she was tense too. That incident with the man behind all those monster attacks that ended in his death was still fresh in their memories, the vague ‘mission’ they were all following as guardians, and the feeling in the air that Jadeite’s death wouldn’t be the end of the monsters flooding their home any time soon—it was almost too much to bear on top of trying to keep it all secret from everyone.

Was it getting to Rei too? All she had been able to do through the meeting was worry with every fretful glance Rei’s way. Despite the way her classmates used to say she was cold—Ami’s heart couldn’t bear to see a friend hurting.

---

Rei carefully bustled around the kitchen, pouring glasses of iced tea for herself and for her guest. Ami. She hadn’t been expecting her to show up, but she probably should have predicted it. If she hadn’t been so distracted, she would have.

But of course, she’s here because I’m distracted, isn’t she? She’s one of the smartest people in Tokyo of course she’d notice. I really thought I’d been hiding it well, though.

Phobos hopped off her shoulder, sulking in her birdlike way as she hunkered down on the nearby counter to watch her pour the tea.

Rei sighed and set the cups down on the table, sitting down opposite to Ami.

“I’m sorry that I worried you, Ami.”

Ami was idly petting the top of Deimos’ head when the cup set before her, and she turned her deep aqua eyes her way with another of her small and often hesitant smiles. “It’s alright. It’s been a hard week, hasn’t it?”

The image of their fallen enemy flashed through her mind again, his body consumed by the flames conjured from her own hands.

Rei took a steadying breath. The vision was the one that kept returning to her, time and again, since that day.

He was an enemy. He wasn’t even human.

Right?

Rai took a sip of her tea. “Well. The week’s been pretty quiet since we sent Jadeite packing, right?”

The look on his face when the flames took him looked human enough. None of the demons we’ve all exorcised before looked quite so… She didn’t know how to put it beside human.

Ami’s nose wrinkled very slightly.

“It’s true, we haven’t heard much in the way of new activity—but Luna doesn’t believe he’s working alo—” She paused, jolting a little when Deimos made a heartbreaking sound and fluttered up into the air off of Ami’s shoulder. “Oh…ah, oh dear. I hope she’s alright. But Luna doesn’t believe he was working alone…it’s only a matter of time till things turn chaotic again I’m afraid.”

Rei held out her free arm for Deimos to land if she felt like it.

“I’m sure. That’s the life of a guardian, I suppose. At least that’s what Luna’s been telling us.”

A lifetime of battle. Of victory or defeat. Of killing.

There was no other word to describe it. What she had done to Jadeite wasn’t exorcising a demon. She had killed something. Someone.

Someone evil, certainly. But still someone.

And he wouldn’t be the last.

A shudder went through her as she took a sharp intake of breath.

Ami noticed, the sudden presence of the girl’s surprisingly warm yet analytical stare falling upon her again. Deimos hopped onto Rei’s arm before Ami spoke again.

“That’s what she’s been telling us—it’s a grim responsibility, isn’t it? To fight…protect Earth, and to protect a princess we haven’t met yet…”

“It is,” Rei agreed. “But it’s our responsibility. It’s what the powers we were given are for. If we didn’t do it, we wouldn’t be worthy of them.”

Despite her words, the moment played in her mind again. Why did it have such a hold on her? Why did he have such a hold on her?

It felt like I knew him.

The thought came again, not for the first time, from some deep part of her mind she didn’t quite understand. Never with any elaboration or clarity—it’d flickered into her mind like a sparking flame not long after the fire had burned the man to charred flesh and bone.

I wish I knew why I can’t put this behind me.

Ami nodded slowly.

“It’s true, we wouldn’t be. I’m not going to stop fighting for the princess we’re looking for…n-nor am I going to just let monsters ravage my home. But—it doesn’t make it easy, right? We’re still just…teenage girls doing our best.”

“Maybe so,” Rei sighed. “Even if I’d prefer otherwise. I guess we all start somewhere. Maybe eventually all of this will just seem… routine.”

Ami chewed her lip for a moment before she said the thing Rei was dreading,hoping against all hope she hadn’t picked up on.

It was a vain hope.

“You mean killing? I should hope not…” Ami closed her eyes with a sadness in her smile. “I mean…the day that that becomes rote routine—would we be any better than the enemy? I think it’ll weigh on us no matter what.”

Ami flexed her fingers against her undrunk tea, watching as Phobos finally fluttered over to join them with a flutter of wings. “I’m still a little shaken about how that battle ended.”

“You are, huh?” Rei huffed softly. Of course Ami had picked up on it. Unlike some people, Ami wasn’t stupid. Quite the contrary.

But if Ami was still shaken by it… maybe it was alright to talk about it, if only a little bit.

Ami nodded, opening her eyes again but leaving them downcast into her tea. “He was trying to kill us—but at the same time he seemed desperate.”

Rei bit her lip. Desperate. She wasn’t wrong.

“Like a rat caught in a trap,” she murmured back.

That look in his eyes when she’d burned him away…

Fear, absolute terror, desperation and hurt—and some flicker of something else.

“And then he died…but he didn’t die like the youma we’d been facing,” Ami’s brow furrowed. “He didn’t vanish in a puff of miasma while cursing us to his final corporeal breath and fizzling away. He died like…like…”

The daughter of a doctor certainly had seen death before.

“Like a human being,” Rei said, giving voice to the awful thought that had been turning in her mind since then.

Ami nodded.

“Like a terrified human being. It kind of brought home that not every enemy we fight is gonna be…I…I dunno. Some demonic amalgamation of the concept of personal fitness or something. Some of them are human as we are.”

Slowly she raised her glass to her lips, taking a hesitant sip as Phobos and Deimos shuddered in perfect unison.

Rei’s gaze lowered, staring at the ice cubes in her tea. At anything besides Ami.

“I feel like I might be a murderer.”

There.

She’d said it.

“I helped you land the finishing blow,” Ami murmured as the sound of the ice in her tea clinked. “I cast the spell to obscure things so you could sneak up on him. If you’re a murderer, I’m an accessory.”

Her breath shuddered softly before she continued. “But…it’s a war, though. We don’t know the true nature of the enemy we’re fighting, we don’t know our whole purpose—but we’re soldiers. As horrible as it is, it’s not quite murder.”

Suddenly, her hand was on Rei’s, squeezing it in slightly shaky fingers. “Even if it feels like it. And you’re not the only one who’s shaken by it. I’m here too…I want to be here to help.”

Rei caught Ami’s fingers and squeezed them back. It was silly, maybe… but knowing she wasn’t alone in her feelings… it helped.

“Thanks, Ami. I…”

She stumbled over her words, not knowing quite what to say.

Ami’s fingers curled around hers and squeezed them reassuringly.

I hope she can feel what I mean. I feel like something’s got a vice grip on my chest whenever I try to get my feelings in order.

“It’s okay, Rei—you’re welcome.” Ami said quietly. “Anything you have to get off your chest, I’ll listen. And if you don’t want to…or can’t, I’ll keep you company alright? My mother’s working late today—she won’t notice if I’m late coming home.”

“Will it be okay if you’re not studying tonight? I hate to ask that of you.”

I hate to ask that of you, but I don’t want to be alone.

Ami tucked her hair over her ear with her other hand, her smile as warm and kind as ever.

“Of course. I’m more than prepared enough for the next tests…and I can always catch up later. It’ll be alright.”

Rei gave her a hesitant smile. The first she’d managed to paint on her face all day. “Then, if you wouldn’t mind, I think I’d like the company.”

Just a pair of teenage girls hanging out.

No, a pair of newly minted soldiers.