Yesterday, another system member asked me why I bother writing fanfiction. Why I bother with the rare pairs, the crack ships, the bizarre AUs, that only a handful of people will ever bother to read; especially when it spends time that we could be using to pursue other hobbies and goals, or interacting with fellow system members in a different way.

I had a hard time answering him yesterday, but I finally managed to find a way to phrase my reasons.

It’s because if I don’t write about it, as far as this world is concerned, it all stays in our head. No one knows about it. It has no impact on the universe.

I want to externalize my internal experience. Even if very few people care about it, even if very few people understand it, I want to put my feelings and experiences out into the world. I want people to know who I loved, and what I did, and why.

Yes, if I didn’t spend so much time writing, I could theoretically have some more time to experience this external reality, but what I want through my writing is for people in this reality to experience my internality.